1. Why are you wasting time on further studies? Haven’t you studied enough?
And we are tired of relatives saying these to the girls in the family assuming they would marry and not work. This assumption is wrong and it’s time that people even asked such a question. Education is the backbone for your future, your degrees will help secure a job.
2. When I was your age, I was married with 2 kids.
Another statement these aunties make when talking to the girls in their family. It’s sad how women have always assumed that other women want the same things in life. If you’ve had two children at 26, it does not mean that everyone would want the same.
3. Girls should know how to cook, clean and manage a home. What will your future husband and in-laws think of you otherwise?
We can’t help but laugh at this one because the statement makes sense until it becomes all about a ‘husband’ and his ‘family’. And why is this such a prerequisite for marriage? And if it is, it should be the same for the man too. Learning to take care of yourself is a basic life skill.
4. When are you going to marry? Im waiting to buy a new saree and jewellery for your functions.
Marriage is such a major life decision and it should be based on so many other factors. Just because the women in the family are looking for an occasion to shop doesn’t justify your decision to marry. These statements are made as a joke in most cases but even then it’s an absurd one to make.
5. Why are you out so late? Girls should be back home at a respectable hour.
And there we have it, whether you work late, are out with friends or even for a late-night movie, relatives start to gossip. If the intention is your safety, then the same applies to the boys as well. Let’s start by treating the boys and girls equally in the family.
6. Back in those days, we used to listen to our parents and do as they said. The generation today is too free.
Why is there a negative connotation to freedom? If women and girls have even the slightest amount of freedom to do things out of choice, it’s because generations of women have worked hard for this right. Instead of blinding listening to parents, a healthy discussion with them is what’s required today.
7. Is that what you’re wearing? You should dress more traditionally.
And how can we conclude the list without comment from our relatives about our clothing choices? They can’t help themselves and comment without filters. If we aren’t questioning their life, choices and decisions, it’s fair that we ask them to mind their business and not meddle in ours.
