This open letter is dedicated to you, your efforts and the unconditional love that you shower us with every day. Whether it is the unwavering support or the friend cum philosopher role that you play in my life, I am truly grateful. But in all this responsibility, and motherly duties, I have a complaint that I must convey to you. You have always put us, your family first and taken a back seat in your own life. You are the central character in your life’s story, you’ve put off being the main person for far too long.
It must be your conditioning, the way you were brought up to be the only one who gives and gives and never expects anything in return. As your daughter, I want to tell you that you must prioritise yourself. Your happiness comes first, you come first.
I vividly remember you taking care of us when we were sick. Making us soups, tucking us in bed, checking our temperatures etc while you were also dealing with the same illness. Why are mothers made to feel like they come second? Or is it ingrained in them that their sole responsibility is towards the health of their family? And as years go by, you put yourself last.
‘Me Time’ isn’t selfish, it’s time that you invest in yourself. An hour a day or a few hours a week should be exclusively year marked for things that make you happy. You held back on so many occasions, from ordering your favourite dishes at a restaurant to spending your saved allowance on a dress for me. All this hasn’t gone unnoticed Ma. But when I look back, I wonder what you do for your own pleasure and joy. I’m sure if I ask you now, you would say you were happy, but I’d like to tell you that you could be happier. If you had taken the music lessons like you wanted, or joined Zumba with your friends, you would have been a different person. Prioritising yourself is important, if you didn’t do it all this while, do it now.
We might be at fault too, for taking you and your work for granted. Only when I moved into my own home did I realise how much unsaid, unplanned work goes behind maintaining a home? Housework never ends, and unlike ours, your working hours went from day to night to day again.
I also want to thank you for always holding the fort at home. You are the cool, calm and collected presence we needed at home. With the chaos at work, the responsibilities of adulthood and the pressures of society, we always knew we had you where all these didn’t matter. Where a hug from you or your hands in our hair meant that all would be well.
I adore you, appreciate you and applaud you for everything. But I request you to take those driving lessons now! Go on that Goa trip with your friends or sister! Take the day off every now and then! Self-care comes first, put your physical and mental well-being at the top of your list. Know that you can’t pour from an empty cup. When you are happy, content and fulfilled, we will take inspiration from you and stop before we burn out. Your dreams and aspirations are valuable, you as an individual are most important.
Yours truly
