Relationships

These 5 red flags in a marriage should never be ignored!

There are some things in marriage that can be a definite deal-breaker!

By Shreya Iyer

They say marriages are made in heaven, but for many, the ground reality is far different from this rosy phrase. Marriages don’t miraculously last for decades, it needs a lot of work from both. In the same manner, the decision of divorce isn’t taken overnight. Sometimes, either one or both are pushed to a point from where coming back is practically impossible. Another major issue with a lot of couples is that they would see the red flags but are unable to identify them or understand how to deal with it, or completely ignore it until it is too late.

 

Here are a few red flags in a marriage which should never be ignored!

 

  1. You are their dumping ground: Be it a hard day at work, an argument with parents, friends or co-workers, all the frustration and anger is dumped on you. A companion may come and whine about how bad their day was for a few minutes and then try to cool down and move on, but if they are losing their sh*t on you every single time even when the slightest thing goes wrong, then do not ignore this behavior, as it can make you negative and demotivate you affecting your mental and emotional peace.

 

  1. He never takes you out with him: Married or not, we need our ‘me-time’ to decompress. But, if you are married taking into consideration the other person’s likes and dislikes slowly becomes a part of your routine. However, if your husband always chooses to keep his likes, interests, and passion ahead of yours, ignores what makes you feel happy and prefers to hang out only with his friends, then sister it’s time to do the talking. However, it won’t be that easy, as such people are not just selfish but can be a borderline narcissist and can manipulate you easily. If you are unable to figure it out, then speak to a counselor/therapist to understand your problem and ways to deal with them.

 

  1. Substance abuse issues: We are aware of the difference between social drinking and addiction. Initially post-marriage there would be endless luncheons, dinners, and parties and sometimes one might overdrink a bit. However, if you see that your husband enjoys the company of his favorite liquor every evening rather than spending time with you, then this red flag should not be ignored at any cost. His alcoholic nature can be a result of several of his unresolved past issues which are still haunting him mentally and emotionally. People who find their solace in drinks often deal with anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and self-pity.Theywould blame you for their fall and soon this will make you bitter and negative. Before deciding to help him there are two things you need to keep in mind; you have to be emotionally and mentally strong to deal with this issue and he should be open to talking about it. If either of the things is missing, then seek medical/professional help.

 

  1. Bad temper: We all face bad days and sometimes it comes out in the form of bad temper which we end up showering on our spouse. However, if anything you say or even the slightest disagreement turns into a screaming match or if your husband can never agree to disagree, then it is time to rethink why you still want to be in this marriage. Being the outlet of his anger every single day isn’t going to do any wonders for you. Instead, it will pull you down, make you unpleasant emotionally and will pull you down every minute. It will be like walking on eggshells every day as you wouldn’t know what would trigger his anger.

 

  1. Sexless marriage: Taking interest in the emotional and mental well-being of the partner is one way of making the bond stronger. But when one of them starts distancing emotionally from the other, their sexual life is directly affected. Physical intimacy is an integral part of a marriage as it helps in reinforcing the emotional connection. But the lack of it can hint at troubles which might need immediate attention. However, there can be many underlying reasons for the same depending on situations. But if it’s happening often and you see some of the other aforementioned signs then one needs to address this at the earliest.

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