Self-Love During Pandemic; Safest Way To Intimacy Right Now!

‘M’ Stands for ‘Mmmm…’

By Varsha Abhay

During the lock-down and the spread of Covid-19, US based health organisation has released a statement stating”You are your safes sex partner right now”.

Sometimes, all you need is you. All it takes is a little self-mapping of your own body and you’ll be en route to Treasure Island!

Why is it that women are afraid to speak up when it comes to their own pleasures? Even today when we talk to our daughters, it’s about equal right at the workplace, equal duties on the home front, equal opportunities in their career but we never speak about self-love. Why don’t we discuss sexual well-being? Sexual pleasures? Or about the act of self-love? It is well known that it is a taboo in our society to even think about a woman’s orgasm, let alone self-initiate one. It’s time we came out of our shells and explored our bodies, our happiness and our pleasures.

It’s no secret that women are perceived as objects of desire. From a saree to a bikini, each piece of clothing is made to flatter a woman’s curves. But are we dressing up for us or for the other halves in our life? We tend to put all our interests in that partner, not knowing what we want in bed. Break that monotony. Before you invite another person to devour your body, you take charge of it.

This is where the question of ‘how’ arises. There is no shame at all in exploring your own body.

Step 1 : Shed those clothes and get in a shower. Have a nice look at yourself in the mirror let the steam take over.

Step 2 : Take to that shower head. Let it wet you in places you have never even thought of before.

Step 3 : Explore the unexplored. Why just head south directly? Start with your neck, you won’t believe how many pleasure points you gain. Move to your breasts, your nipples and then let your body dictate its own terms.

Once you have introducedyourself to your new found and loved body, you take matters to new levels. Who cares about what anyone thinks? You have hit the jackpot if you know how to flick your own bean. No man or woman can give you what you can give yourself.

Another myth we need to bust is about women being the submissive one in bed. Unless that is part of a role play that you are doing (that you yourself enjoy), let’s not do it. Selfishness from one partner can often lead to an unsatisfactory finish. Take charge and let him or her know what you like and want. Why don’t we equate sex with equal pleasures and mutual climaxes? Sex should be fun, should be impulsive, passionate and explosive.

While there are many, many articles on the web as to how to pleasure yourself, it’s all about trial and error. Some women might get pleasure through penetration, some might just need a mental picture or some of us have our fingers to thank. Make it a weekly ritual to have some time alone by yourself. There are approximately seven erogenous zones on your body. You will know what works for you only if you touch yourself and figure it out.

Why are women termed as bad navigators? It’s because it took them ages to discover their own G-spots! Something that has been a part of your body has gone unexplored your entire life. You know what, your clitoris comprises 8000 nerve endings and that is your jackpot.

Let’s talk toys! Vibrating rings, vibrators, dildos- there is an infinite number of toys available for pleasure. If you aren’t aware, there is even a vibrator disguised as a massager available on Amazon! Things are available at the touch of a button, make that investment in yourself now.

Have a circle of trustworthy friends that you can talk to, can discuss your personal life with. Share what you know and have enjoyed, let them open up about their sex lives. It’s a way that we can slowly outgrow the taboo that surrounds the topic. On the path of self-confidence and self-discovery, your sexuality plays a major role. Overcome the narrow minded frame of thought that the society has engraved in minds. Be open to love, pleasure and all things that make us women, whole.


Let’s Ta-BOO it !

Sex is a man’s desire. Wrong! Women are more sexual that men but have been shunned from feeling the pleasure of express their desires.

Women have sex to have babies. Wrong! Since time and again, people have assumed that women want kids and so have sex.

Size Matters. Maybe! While size has nothing to do with pleasure, it’s all about preference.

Only penetration will give you an orgasm. Wrong! This is a myth that has to be busted. Women’s bodies are a pandora’s box.

Women like it on top. Yes! We like it because it gives an advantage over our bodies. We move like we want to, moan like we want to and climax like we want to.

Porn is a man’s indulgence. Wrong! Erotic books and movies have genres specially designed for women’s pleasure.

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