There is a misconception that arranged marriages are sadder than love marriages. Ladies, just to begin the story with, men change after the wedding no matter how well you know or don’t know him. Might as well save some energy by concentrating on yourself physically and mentally. Humour apart, going from a Miss to a Mrs. is more than these mere titles. To begin with, starting to prepare for the wedding is in itself a big pain. Parents are going berserk with financial matters on one hand. On the other, there is just way too much to put together.
Amidst the chaos, there’s one thing left forgotten – how to prepare mentally and physically. Nobody teaches you this. The future is completely unknown and after a wedding, everything feels different. We forget to live the present what with all the pressure around us.
Pause when you need to
Acceptance is the first, good step towards change. Accept that priorities will change; accept that life is taking a turn for the better. There will come situations that might make you wonder, if all this is really worth it? Remember that during this first step, it is absolutely okay to break down when the situation so compels you. You are dealing with matters you may have never even pictured in your wildest dreams.
Do you trust me?
The next step in transition is belief. Firstly, believe in yourself. Believe that no matter what, you will be able to handle any hurdle that comes your way. The next best thing to do would be to start believing in your partner. Building a strong foundation of trust takes your marriage a very long way. Although, make sure, they trust you as much, work on that because this will establish that two-way understanding that marriage is all about.
The best policy
The third step is honesty and transparency. Again, be true to yourself, keep your beliefs, faith, career all to yourself and make sure your partner knows how important your life, your individual identity and your mental health is to you. Your honesty will make your partner want to be equally straightforward with you. Also, do not hesitate to voice out your opinion when necessary. If you know something is not right, you tell them no matter what. Do not shy away from stopping something that affects you or your partner. Do it gently, firmly; but do it.
Let’s get to work
Relationship calls for a lot of effort and you have to accept that and make sure your partner realises the same. Equal efforts, a dash of compromise from both sides makes a marriage effortless for years to come. Never take in anybody’s “relationship advice” on a particular issue. Every marriage is different and nobody’s ever going to get it. So, just never let a third person influence or affect your relationship.
Happy wife, happy life
The last and final step would be something most of us know, but often forget: happiness. No relationship is important should strip you of your happiness. Make sure when you’re marrying your partner, there’s happy tears in your eyes and that you cannot wait to spend the rest of your lives with one another. Obstacles are bound to come anyway and along with that comes misunderstandings. But, all the previous steps, if done, makes sure that there is only a smile after all the storm.
Prioritising ourselves is imperative. In fact, advice your husband to do the same. There is nothing more beautiful than self-love. It lays foundation to any further step you wish to take. Confidence in yourself is the driving force to a successful marriage and it needs to work both ways. Take help if required, but just make sure you’re strong and confident to deal with just anything.
Your love for your partner matters the most, it helps you make the transition with ease. Be happy, be strong, be confident and be irrevocably in love!