Life up till now has been a roller coaster ride, from choosing a career to falling in love, from planning a wedding to settling down. While all these phases did come with its pre-event jitters, nervousness and inhibitions, this time the feeling is very different. These were just ‘decisions’ i had to take, but this time its life that i create, hence I am freaking out!
Yes, I am scared to admit that I am scared. The new life that I have in my arms brings to me a feeling that i cant even explain. I am exhausted, worried, anxious, tired yet there is this love that fills my entire body that nothing else matters. Being a mother has changed me, changed my outlook and certainly changed my priorities.
Baby girl,I have never felt this needed before, the thought that your entire world has literally been me for all these months is so consuming. The thought that every action and reaction that you give is a sign that i somehow automatically comprehend is magical. Well, you are a part of me, and thats a fact that no on can ever change. Remember the conversations we had when you were inside me, how you responded to my favourite songs, my favourite food, seemed like you would be just like me. And you are.
Everyone told me that being a mother is a spectacular feeling, and i completely agree. But there is a split side to it, I am more aware , more cautious and certainly more paranoid about things that i wouldn’t be otherwise. yes, I am a confident, educated, smart, working woman but when it comes to my little baby girl, i m sure to try out every method in the book to make life easier for you. I certainly want my daughter to grow up to an independent woman but I want to give all her that i can to make sure she sails through life with the least amount of difficulty. This dilemma of doing whats right and doing whats right for her is what makes it such a tough job in the world.
Lets not judge other mothers, we now know how complicated it is. Lets be happy that we could miraculously create a new life that is exclusive and so special that no one can ever have what you have and that means that you cherish it for the rest of you life.
All the best