I am 33-years-old, doing fairly well for myself professionally, in good shape health-wise, and I have started taking care of my retired parents and ensuring they live comfortably. I live alone, never been married, and yet, I am at my happiest. However, there are people who think there’s still something incomplete about my life! All the neighborhood aunties often have one question in mind no matter what I’m doing – “When are you getting married, beta??”

And to that, I always say, “How about never, aunty?!” It’s quite predictable what her reaction might look like.

It’s as though a woman is never complete if she’s not married and has kids to take care of. As though women were made just so she could bear children and fuss over them 24 X 7 whilst the husband toils hard at the work place and gives the money to put food on the table. Why can’t we ever get past that?

My reactions to these niggling questions of marriage often gets me into trouble, but they surely work. When I bump into my mother’s friend at the mall, and she casually asks about my marriage plans, I have this to say:

“Oh, aunty. I don’t think any man would want me since I’ve already had sex with ten men in my life! Wouldn’t they like a virgin bride??”

The look on her face is priceless!

Or when I attend a friend’s wedding and somebody nudges me that I’m next in line, I simply say:

“Sure, but I have a taste for married men. Do you know anybody?” with a wink. That briefly shuts them up.

When I turned 22, marriage proposals started coming in. I briefly met a few potential grooms, too, so as to see if they could change my mind. But it was all too futile. They were either not comfortable with me pursuing a career after marriage, or the fact that I didn’t want children before 30 or that I simply always spoke my mind. Moreover, I wanted to do really well for myself and didn’t want something to hold me back. Not that I’m implying that marriages or husbands hold you back, but because I’ve gotten too used to being by myself and independent that I am simply not ready to have another person in my life. At least not yet.

As most things go, a time will always come even if it takes a while. With the focus on me trying to build my way up in work, I hardly have time to think about anyone else. So who knows, I might just find time later and find ‘the one’ to spend the rest of my life with. Of course, that is if I let nature take its course.

So when aunties and uncles constantly point out to my 30+ age and single status, I feel the need to point out that I’m still happy. “Do you not see how happy I am?” I ask. Their persistence knows no bounds, but hey, I always have funny responses to tackle them in the meanwhile!

 

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