Social Issues

An Open Letter from a Single Mom to Other Moms

#WomenSupportWomen

As I write this down, I can already feel the judgement of my peers, the judgement of mothers who do not know my pain and my journey. We all have our struggles, our triggers, our past and our path. But we all strive for one thing, to help our children grow into beautiful adults, to be able to guide them on the right path and to be able to give them to tools to make a happy life.

Why did my marriage fail? Why didn’t I reconcile with my husband? Why did I choose to work, didn’t I get alimony? Why why why? I know everyone has questions about my life. And all they want to do is sympathise with us, for we don’t look like a “complete family”. That’s not fair, we are a family, we are a unit and we are happy as a small one. Instead of asking why it didn’t work out, why don’t we focus on the future, Or most importantly, the present? Because this is our motto in life, live each moment to the fullest.

But to set the record straight, my spouse and I split because of irreconcilable factors. You are open to speculating and making assumptions, but that doesn’t change our truth. We are independent people, who wish to lead separate lives. My partner didn’t want kids, and I couldn’t wait to be a mother. This is what broke us, but I don’t regret a single moment. My child is my life and I couldn’t ask for a better ending to our story. I loved him unconditionally and I wanted him to live his dream without compromising on my own. So we took our different routes and decided to start afresh.

Every day when I drop my son at school, I notice the glaring and gossiping eyes on me. It bothered me at first but now I know you aren’t aware of my life’s story. I’m ready to make friends, to have a girl gang of my own, who understands the limitations of being a working mother but an equally dedicated one. I’m working hard to give myself and my son the best life. And what I expect is some respect and an open mind. It’s always said that women pull other women down, let’s change the narrative. Let us be the support that each one of us needs. We all have our issues, domestic, professional, personal and even internal, why increase it by stressing about what “others think”.

I have discovered the joy of living my life on my own terms. When you stop listening to the voices outside and listen to the ones that are coming from inside you, your life will change for the best. I fell head over heels in love with someone and enjoyed that part of my life. Now my priorities are different, but I come first on that list. I chose to live only and only for myself because if I’m happy, I can nurture a happy home. Don’t misunderstand me, I also make compromises, I also have regrets, but that doesn’t define my present. My mental health takes utmost priority and that’s why this letter is for all those women who want to keep themselves first. It’s not selfish to love yourself or put yourself before others, it’s the most selfless act there can be. For when you do that, you teach your children the right way to lead their lives, keep their happiness at the forefront and live a fuller, happier life.

 

 

 

 

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