It’s Very Hard To Fall In Love Again: The Story Of A Prostitute!

“It’s very hard to fall in love again. Especially for a prostitute. Since I understood life, every inch of my soul suffered in grief. I have no idea what my age is or who my parents were. I spent my lifetime on the street. And my daughter was the only reason of my breath. I never told her what my profession was. She was a beautiful chubby child; it was very difficult to tell her any lie, mostly when she smiled at me. Whenever she asked me, ‘Why are you going to work at night, amaa?’ I could hardly speak to her, but sometimes I told her; ‘I never wanted to work at night.’ Without understanding anything she always hugged me before I left home. I wanted to get out of that gang. I tried to escape many times. I badly wanted to save my life. But I knew no one, nobody came to help me since I wake up in this bastard world. Everyone used me, played with my heart. Left me devastated and I had no idea where I was going.

That was a rainy day, it was raining heavily; I was standing under a tree, was waiting for sunset. I did not even notice at the beggar sitting in the wheelchair at the other side of the tree. I was crying hard and the rain was pouring into me. I had no idea how long I screamed in anger, in agony. I wanted to return to my daughter, I did not want to go to anywhere with any stranger. I was very tired. Tired of being used at every place by everyone. Suddenly I heard the crack of the wheelchair; he coughed loudly to get my attention. I did not try to sweep off my tears and told him that I had no money for a beggar. He handed me a fifty taka note and said that was all he had. He warned me about the coming storm and requested me to go back to home. I was numb. The money was already wet but I kept that dearly in my plum. I saw him pushing his wheelchair while moving in the rain; saw him going far away from me. For the first time in my life that evening someone gave me something without using me. That day I cried deeply while returning to my hut. That day for the first time I felt loved.

In that same monsoon, I continued to search for him and after several days I found him sitting under a tree. I came to know that his wife left him because of his disability. By gaining a lot of courage I told him that I won’t be able to love again but I could push his wheelchair for a lifetime. That moment, he smiled and said, ‘Not everyone can push wheelchair without love’. We are married for four years. During our marriage, he promised me no matter what happen he will never let me cry again. Some days we are not able to have lunch. Even today we are having one plate of chotpoti and sharing together. We already passed many difficult days, months and years. But I never cried again by standing under any unknown tree. Abbas Miah kept his promise.”

– Rajiya Begum (via GMB Akash)