I decided to forget and forgive everything and continue our life together, but it wasn’t easy, especially because his attitude towards me continued to be the same. He would make our grown up girls (18 & 12 then) sleep with us so that he could avoid intimacy or any kind of confrontation. I couldn’t trust him anymore. Our peaceful home became a war zone.
I took my husband to a counselor but there was no change. By this time, kids too understood that things weren’t alright. Older one confronted me, and I had to talk to her. That was the biggest mistake I made. ( I couldn’t take the pain, I wanted to hide my frustration and disappointment from my kids) My urge for suicide was too strong. I wanted to live for them, wanted to live for my babies.
When I felt that I was going into depression, I decided to get some counseling, technology helped me approach my friend who was living abroad and was a counselor. What started as counseling brought us close together, but it was never beyond comforting intimate messages.”