I lost faith in humanity, in God, in men and in everything that surrounded me. My haunting nights continued. Does it make any difference that he is my husband and he has all the rights irrespective of my feelings? I don’t know the answer. I have controlled all my emotions, lived like a doll amidst his domestic violence and sexual harassment. I have never told anyone about what is killing me inside lest people would say that it’s my duty as a wife to abide by his sexual needs and expectations. But my soul has been stabbed and is bleeding, crying in pain.
The wound is deep and the scars are irreparable. I am stepping into the twentieth year of my marriage, but yes I am still subject to sexual harassment.
I can never explain in words how much my soul suffers and struggles when my husband rubs himself against me in my sleep even when I am in my periods or running a high temperature. I have fought hard and now I sleep with my children in a separate room but my nightmares continue to haunt me and I wake up numerous times out of fear.”