We bring to another gem of a story from AkkarBakkar, a page talking about various real-life stories. This story of two individuals getting together will make you realize how important self-understanding and realization is:
“Manas and Roli (name changed) were WhatsApp friends. I happen to be a common friend between them. I know both of them personally very well and have known their personalities a tad bit better than their school friends or so-called best friends. I have been with them for more than a decade now. Thanks to the virtual world of Facebook and WhatsApp, they both met through me.
This story is about two distinct individuals who had never met before and the one incident that changed their lives for good. Roli is in her mid-thirties but timid, born and brought up in a typical middle-class family, aspires to be a writer and wants to make it big in the industry. Manas, on the other hand, is a simple, decent yet a broadminded man who had no qualms about admitting that he had a bad marriage earlier.
He has two kids from that marriage and wanted an open relationship with someone like minded. But the best thing about him was that he respected every person and accepted them with their disorders too. He was never a party or gossip person. He’d never humiliate anyone or speak negatively about anyone. While he was down to earth, and more of a buddy, he was also equally clear about what he wanted from life and his friends with benefits.”
“I was zapped when Roli called one night at about 2.00 AM and said it was extremely urgent. She asked me to meet her ASAP because she wanted to share what had just happened between Manas and her. I could not believe my ears. I could feel the anxiety in her voice and on probing further she just gave an idea — that it was way too private and can’t be shared with anyone.
Knowing how different and difficult these individuals were, I could not imagine them being together. So what must have happened so private? I kept wondering the whole night. Nonetheless, we met at CCD the next day. She came in very well dressed, with a perfect hair-do, and almost a makeover. I could not recognize her with the entire shift in her physical appearance. It got me smiling to assume only one thing – something ‘nice’ had happened between them.
I noticed the twinkle in her eyes, totally thrilled and she couldn’t wait to narrate what had happened. I learned that she had visited his place and it is no guess work what could have happened between them. But what surprised me is that while she was narrating this incident she said, “Neha, I did not really know what I was doing. I had no clue why I pinged him on WhatsApp at 6 AM and started chatting with him. It’s only when he asked me how come I was up so early, I typed – Manas, I am feeling all excited right now after seeing some videos and I am just desperate to make out with someone badly.”
“This came as a shock to me as I couldn’t have imagined her being so open, unlike what she was a couple of years ago (nervous and shy). Her old self wouldn’t even use the word ‘sex’ because she found it too strong and ‘bold’. Here, she was muttering all kinds of slangs, words, and lingos.
Manas kept telling Roli that he had met her many years ago, perhaps even before his marriage, and he liked her instantly. For some reason, things did not work out at the time, they never met after that. But her image and her face stuck in his mind like a poster, he could not forget her and let go.
So when he somehow landed up getting in touch with Roli again, he was very excited to see her. But Roli, on the other hand, did not remember any of this. In fact, according to her, they had only chatted but never met. Hence, while he had admittedly expressed this attraction towards Roli umpteen number of times, she had to politely refrain from giving in.
She just asked him to stay as friends till she recollected meeting him before. She also wanted to buy time to know him enough to date him. They both had developed an immense understanding for each other and they mutually kept their talks strictly restricted to Whatsapp/Facebook. Till one night Manas got a ping from Roli and the entire equation changed overnight.”
“Manas wasted no time and asked her to come over the following afternoon. She took a long pause soon after. She asked him to promise her that he will not judge her and things will remain only between them. Needless to mention, he agreed and then there was a big YES. He also knew he was old enough to get access to something like that easily. Soon enough, they were at his place, had lunch and within no time moved to his bedroom.
Roli had not recollected his face at all. She was right. She was very sure that she had not seen him ever before. Manas tried to make her comfortable, kissed her, and softly pampered her with a massage, till he felt he was too geared up to go all naked, while Roli remained clothed. They kissed, caressed each other but Roli just could not go any further.
“Why? What were you afraid of now?” I surprisingly asked Roli. I was glad she was just going with the flow while describing her story and saying it all. And then when I asked her that question, she confessed about something that gave me goosebumps.
She put her head down, closed her eyes, bit her lips softly and said, “Neha, while I was all there, on him, kissing him, got him all pumped about the action, I was still not ready to go all the way with him because I was yet to convince myself to find him attractive enough for me to get all excited.
I realized I was getting physical with him without being excited enough to do it all. Well, for the lack of a better expression or words, I just wanted to have a casual time with him. I was far more settled from the time I told him I wanted to do it. I had become calmer. I wasn’t afraid of anything though.
I know you are thinking why in the first place I encouraged him to move forward. Yes, I gave in to my mind, it was my fault to get him all hopeful about everything and then not give him anything. I could not melt in his arms and I was doing a favor, to both of us I guess. I was honestly only acting not enjoying.
Was I wrong Neha? I am feeling guilty suddenly. In a way, I also feel cheap and more like a call girl. Perhaps they are the only ones who could afford to be this casual about making out with a stranger and get paid for it too.”
“I was stunned to hear all this coming from Roli, a girl who came from an Indian middle-class family, whose parents would commit suicide if they knew ‘they were raising her for all this while’. Sometimes I feel Indian parents never grow up. I was speechless but developed an immense understanding of this situation.
She had flawed in some way I wondered but she had articulated the whole incident without a single drop of tear, pretty much unlike the real, emotional, Roli.
I did not question her on why she had to take such a step. In fact, I understood her side and told her “No. You were not wrong I guess. You did what you felt like doing. You were being considerate and being nice and human. But yes the guilt isn’t inappropriate either because you wanted to do it initially. You probably should not have gone ahead if it wasn’t mutual. The moment you realized that there wasn’t the chemistry you had anticipated, you should have backed out immediately. The bed wasn’t your stage to perform such a thing. Somewhere if he was emotional, you were playing with his mind and that for me doesn’t go down well ethically.”
She looked at me with those hopeful eyes and whispered, “You are right. I should not have hit the bed as I was meeting him for the first time. I felt I was conducting a practice session on myself.” What? The shock was evident on my face. She understood that gasp well, blinked both her eyes, immediately took hold of my hand and said “Yes, but please don’t tell this to anyone in my family. I beg you please!”
“I won’t” I assured her. We ended our conversation there. She had turned extremely confident and suave at the same time. I could feel that she was taking back a lot from this experience. She now knew what not to do while dating anyone at least. She gives me full credit for this confidence even today and I have no clue why. She keeps thanking me because she thinks anyone in my place would have judged her, abandoned her.
Roli thought in today’s day and age, knowing this kind of an understanding man, who was being dumped and almost insulted, was next to impossible. She felt relieved and started respecting him even more.
Roli once messaged me saying, “The cherry on the cake is that Manas was also amazing in giving a back massage. My literal gateway of being relieved.” She was actually rewarded for not ‘coming’ at the right time with the wrong guy.