While he was in the shower, a feeling of giddiness caught him. Not realizing that a stroke had hit him , he sat down, and then slowly lay down on the floor hoping the coldness would make him feel better. After moments, the family realized that something had gone wrong, and they broke open the door and quickly called for an ambulance. On his way to the hospital, Suresh felt as if all four of his limbs were detaching itself from his body. Drifting in and out of consciousness, Suresh slowly went into a state of coma.
Suresh was unconscious for about 2 weeks with tubes connected to him all over his body. After he regained his conscious state, the doctor had to check whether he was able to understand and comprehend things. So the doctor asked him general questions to which he would replied with a blink. That was the only thing his body allowed him to do, a blink. Suresh has been in a vegetative state since that fateful morning of 1999.
“I never expected it to be this bad. We thought it would become alright in some time. But it went on to become worse for Suresh.” says Jaya.
Suresh was admitted in the hospital for 6 months and as the date to the discharge grew closer, more than excitement there was nervousness. A full time nurse and a more than enthusiastic family was there to stand by him in every hour of need but they were worried if they’d be able to handle any more problems that may arise at home.
“I learnt how to live with it. Its Suresh’s will power that kept me going at all times. And the way he thinks about various things. He is very logical and practical” says Jaya.
Relationships often suffer because of miscommunication, but here Jaya and Suresh had only a blink to understand each other’s thoughts and feelings. While we wonder how the couple manages to communicate in spite of Suresh’s inability to mobilize and even speak, Jaya has a story to tell.
“He can only blink his eyes. Over a period of time we decided to make use of this mode for our communication. Initially it was very difficult to find out what he was saying. I would ask him simple questions that had a Yes or No answer but then we realized that wasn’t going to be enough. I quickly found a notebook wrote the letters:
A B C D E F G H
I J K L M N O P
Q R S T U V W X Y Z
I pointed to different letters and he would blink at the right one. I joined them to form words and then to form sentences. And now we don’t even need a notebook, we memorized the positions of the letters. For common words now, I can guess before he completes the word and with the words, I know what he is about to say.”
Their son is now doing his Electronics & Instrumentation Engineering from SRM University, Kattankulathur, Chennai. He was a few months old when the family met with this tragedy and has grown learning new ways to communicate with his dad.
“By God’s grace Sujit has also learnt the art of communicating with his father. They enjoy each other’s company a lot” Jaya is extremely happy about the way the father and son have bonded through the years in spite of all odds.
When we ask Jaya whether she ever lost hope or was disheartened, she admits “Many a times initially, I did lose hope. I didn’t have an idea how things were going to work with us. I was totally confused and disturbed. But my parents, brother and friends have played a very important role in our lives.”
Ten years after the stroke, Suresh started writing his blog in 2009, reciting some very funny instances of his life. You wonder how? “He has a headset. He uses it for typing with his head moments. It’s called Emotiv Epoc Headset.” This has helped Suresh type on the computer and write as beautifully as he does. Reading books and magazines were his favorite thing, so the family would clip the reading material on to a pillow in front of him.
Tragedies are what make or break a family. It’s extremely overwhelming to see how this one has grown to become such a happy and jovial one. The shortcomings don’t stop you from enjoying the small and big things in life. You step into the Jaya-Suresh home and you will be met with a wave of affection and an instant connection, their love is surely infectious.