1) “It is not a big deal. Don’t be so sensitive!”
This statement often leads to belittling your partner’s emotions. It will make them feel like they are robbed of their agency to have an opinion, or feel a certain way. It is invalidating and lacks empathy. This statement is capable of creating a kind of disconnect with your partner. If your partner takes something to their heart, then the issue is probably something that matters to them. Instead of saying this statement, you could say, “I can see that this is disturbing you, but I am not able to understand why.” This will help continue the conversation, and might actually sought the problem, rather than aggravate it.
2) “You would have if you really LOVE me!”
We often say this when we are frustrated with our partner’s behavior. They may repeatedly fail to do something that means a lot to us. But, it is unfair on our part to conclude that they failed to do something because of their lack of love towards us. Remember, no one would want to hear from their partner that their ‘love is fake’. It would really set them back, and they would never really realize what the problem actually is. This statement will put them in a position where they will have to constantly prove their love to you. Instead, you can sit down and explain to them why they have to do that thing that matters to you. Or, you could go the extra mile and ask them ‘PLEASE!’
3) “Are you trying to leave me?”
This statement typically arises out of insecurities. Past relationships and experiences may make you question your partner’s commitment to you. No matter what doubts you have, remember not to ask your partner this question. Repeatedly asking your partner this question might make them think that you are not interested in the relationship, and may actually lead to a breakup. Even if they don’t want to end the relationship, it may provoke them to do so out of irritation. So never ever ask your partner this question. If some behavior of theirs makes you overthink, then try to settle it with them through discussion.
4) “My EX was so much better than you!”
How many of us liked being compared to other kids by parents? Yes, none of us. Similarly, your partner will never accept being compared to your EX, especially as they may already be a little insecure about that. Making the statement the other way round is also not a good idea; i.e., telling your current partner that they’re better than your EX. While they may take it with a smile at face value, they may wonder why you are still thinking about your ex-partner. Every relationship is different and every person is different. If you find something problematic about your partner, address that specifically.
5) “Apart from me, nobody else would be with you!”
This is one of the most damaging statements you can make towards your partner. Your partner and you may be facing serious compatibility issues. In case it doesn’t workout, then the solution is to mutually part ways. If the compatibility issues are solvable, then sit and have a calm conversation with them. No matter what, do not utter the above words. It can either make your partner under confident about themselves, or it could make them despise you. It is also extremely disrespectful to say something like this.
6) “Go find someone else, leave me alone!”
When an argument sees no end, we tend to say things like the above. It may come out of anger and irritation, but it may be highly problematic for your relationship. Such a statement might make them think that you are not serious in the relationship. It may also feel like they’re just an option and that your entire relationship will not have longtime goals. Your partner already found you, because they love you. Don’t trigger them to think that you’re not the right person for them.