Do you like weddings? I love them a lot; you get great food, the atmosphere is fun and you get to dress up lavishly. Marriages are the most important occasion of everyone’s life. A happy marriage is the door to a great future. No wonder weddings are great right? Now let me get a bit more personal. Do you prefer arranged marriages or love marriages?

Its confusing isn’t it? Would you want your husband picked out for you or would you want to find “The One” yourself? It is definite that all the “Sanskaris” out there would probably scrunch their noses and say “But that’s wrong” to the idea of a love marriage. Sure, you can always go to your parents if anything goes wrong in your arranged marriage, while you are solely responsible for your love marriage. But not all actions can be redeemed and your parents can’t always save you right?

Let’s take the recent example of Harijinder Kaur. Harinjinder, aged 25 has been married for five years. She was always troubled to bring more dowry money by her husband. Six days before, Harinjinder was strangled to death by her husband for not satisfying his needs. In this case, what could the parents do but cry?

I am certainly not saying that a love marriage wins all. Many love marriages in India ends up in divorce and there are dowry deaths too. It’s just that why is there a huge controversy on love marriages and arranged marriages. Let’s try to answer the one question that bothers Indian youths, why do Indian parents oppose love marriages? It is mostly to safeguard their status in the society right? No parent is going to want people pointing fingers and sneering at them. But is it fair to dump a woman in an arranged marriage just to look socially good.

Here is piece of my mind for the parents out there. Do you know who is going to criticize you for pushing your daughter into a marriage of your choice; your conscience. Well even if it doesn’t, it should. Most of the time, Indian parents do not know when to stop with their forcing. Opinions are fine, but nobody can to force their ideas on you. Forcing is like a cycle. It starts when parents force their children to do something like going to tuitions instead of dance classes to making them choose engineering to choosing their spouses. Once the child grows up he/she forces their ideas on their children. It’s a cycle and it needs to be stopped.

I am not blaming parents at all. It is the over-protective manner in which our culture is. However I want Indian parents to note that what matters is not whether the man your daughter likes is of the same caste or not but if she will be happy. Whether she will get divorced soon or if your relatives are going to blame you for letting your daughter go astray should be least of the concern. Trust is the main key for positive results. Times are changing and so you should let go of your qualms and trust your daughter and the man she chooses.

So girls, if you think you will be happy, whether it is love marriage or arranged marriage, no matter who the man or woman is, you should choose it. There comes a point in our lives, when only our choices matter. You can either let someone choose for you or choose yourself. But that choice is itself is entirely up to you to choose. But whatever it is that you want, be firm with it. Regret is not an option. If you are scared in coming to a decision, then do not worry, for I too shall make the same choice, and I will carry it for the rest of my life.