Romance

How Long Should You Wait To Have Sex After Arranged Marriage? These Real-Life Stories Are Adorable And Useful!

Your thoughts?

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Arranged marriage is only different from a love marriage if you did not have a lot of time to talk to each other and understand. However, physical intimacy is something that holds up for quite some time in an arranged marriage. These answers of real experiences from QUORA is going to answer all the queries you have had till date.

1.

 

My husband was the first & the only match my parents looked into for me. Our families met & approved. Then we went on a couple of dates & hit it off. We got engaged, & married after a month. Since everything happened so fast after our engagement due to a one-month wedding prep time, our relationship didn’t grow during that time. After the wedding ceremony, we were driven to a hotel. I still remember it. This is how are ‘first night’ went. We lay on the bed, half a foot apart but holding hands, & talked about all the things that happened at the wedding. Somewhere while talking, we fell asleep.

 We had a couple of rituals, & took off for our honeymoon the next day. It was an 8-hour flight. We talked, watched a movie, & he taught me how to play his PSP. It was late, so we unpacked & had a light dinner at the hotel. Yeah, I know. It was time for sex. I was literally shivering as I walked back to the room. I know he was my husband, but we hadn’t even kissed yet. I was in no shape or form ready to get intimate with him. I thought I should pretend to fall asleep, but for how many days could I do that?
I didn’t want to disappoint him the first night of our honeymoon by being the ‘I have a headache’ wife. He had been so nice to me. But then, I didn’t owe him sex just because he was being nice. But, his sister-in-law had especially accompanied me for lingerie shopping, & gotten me the ‘first night’ dress. [So creepy!] I know it makes no sense, but I was feeling like a slut as I was about to have sex with a guy I barely knew. I didn’t feel like his wife yet! But what option did I have?

The pressure was so much that I, a 24-year-old grown ass woman, burst into tears, all the while chanting “Thank you”, “I’m so sorry”, “I can do it if you want”, “I can’t-do it”. He hugged me & held me tight to calm me down. What he told me next honestly laid the foundation of our relationship.

“You’re my wife & we didn’t get married for you to please me. I didn’t get a chance to meet you as a regular girl, and I regret that. I didn’t get a chance to be your friend, then fall for you & pursue you, & take you out on a first date. We didn’t get a chance to build a relationship. We jumped directly to the last step of getting married, but I still want us to have a healthy relationship. I still want to go through all those steps. You are my wife, & I don’t want to strip you of your self-respect with your clothes. I don’t want you to just lay on your back as I claim my husband rights. You will someday be the mother of my children, & I want to keep you on that pedestal always. We will someday make love, but you don’t owe it to me. Let it come naturally, & we’ll enjoy every step of falling in love as it comes.”

If I think back, that was the moment I started falling in love with him. I had never expected a real man to have this sort of a thought process.”

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