“I think most men today understand a woman’s need to hold her own,” thinks Jagriti, “They are more open and adjusting because they too have grown up with the same influences of popular culture that we have.” Of course, there are certain exceptions.

It isn’t uncommon to find romantic breakfasts in bed replaced with arguments over who puts out the garbage. The once Mr. Charming suddenly seems too self-engrossed and your own ego takes quite a beating when you find yourself completing not only your chores but also get loaded with his. While this may seem like a simple case of adjustment to some, it may feel like a loss of identity and diminishing respect for beliefs to others. How you work through this, defines the character of the relationship you share with your partner. “After we were married, my husband suddenly turned into this over-dependent person who expected me to act like his mother. It took several arguments before he realized that while she was happy being a homemaker, I needed all the help I could get juggling the family and my career,” says Jagriti.

There is also the issue of personal space, something which more and more women today feel sensitive about. “Marriage today is about living separate lives together,” opines Jagriti, “Space is important in every relationship and I think the generations before us realized it too. However, it wasn’t such big a deal back then.”

Getting used to a new life requires immense patience. How big the minor issues can turn out to be and how important change, or the absence of it, is depends entirely on how you choose to address the issues. What’s important is to be realistic and prepared for the adjustments to come and be clear about how far you’re willing to go. After all, a match may be made in heaven, but marriages are lived here on earth.

 

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