Rarely do women choose to be single mothers, but situations sometimes force them to be both mother and father to their children. Though single motherhood is popularly viewed as a new phenomenon, it has existed since time memorial due to a plethora of reasons like war, disease, polygamy and social institutions like slavery.
Very often, people make the mistake of assuming that children raised by single mothers suffer debilitating damage psychologically which puts them at a disadvantage in several ways due to their seemingly unnatural family composition. If that was the case, we have Barack Obama, famous sportspersons Shaquille o Neill and Lance Armstrong, actor Leonardo di Caprio, designer Masaba Gupta and many, many others to prove that children of single mothers can often be just as successful and confident than their double parent counterparts.
How to handle being a single mother:
1. Involve your family: There can be no support system like your parents and family.
2. Be financially independent: Being able to take care of your expenses independently is half the battle won.
3. Plan for emergencies: Stay organized and be prepared for emergencies of all sorts from health to the maid not turning up.
4. Do not be burdened with guilt:Accept that things do go wrong and it takes two hands to clap. At the same stop playing the blame game. It is pointless.
5. Develop a support group: sometimes things can get very overwhelming and having someone to pitch in can be a great help.
6. Keep time for yourself: Just because you feel your child is being denied the love of one parent does not mean you have to spend every living moment with your child fulfilling every frivolous demand. Do take time off every now and then to pursue your interests.
7. Make your child independent while accepting they are still children: single mothers often make the mistake of keeping their children emotionally dependant on them, for fear of losing them as well. Do not mollycoddle them or at the other extreme behave in a manner beyond their years.
8. Value relationships: Be a role model to your child and teach them to invest in relationships. Ensure your children are not wary of relationships when they grow up.