There are seductive whispers and there are careless whispers. The former scorch the sheets, the latter just dampen the mood. We women may know it all when it comes to bedroom secrets or wooing our beloved, but certain things we say in bed can actually be our worst enemies! Here are 8 such verbal pariahs to avoid.
1. Have I gained weight?
Men, in general, hate conversations about weight and figure, even more so when it happens in bed! This question is a guaranteed killer of the good time you could have possible enjoyed between the sheets. And, of course, there are no ‘correct’ responses to this double edged question. His reply in the affirmative may leave you feeling miserable while a ‘no’ from his lips will sound insincere! So it is better to let sleeping fat lie and to just concentrate on having a rollicking romp in bed. The fact remains that men purely enjoy skin-to-skin contact and don’t hunt for an hourglass figure while making out.
2. Can we paint the walls beige?
You might have a great taste in interiors, but hold on! There are times your man might be more interested in your curves than the wall colors and the drapes. Discussions about your house or its interiors are clearly meant for the mornings and not when your man is all charged up and ready to give you the best he can. Sexy lingerie, a dimly lit room, good fragrances and a romantic song might be better options!
3. Do you hear the baby cry?
For most couples, libido levels take a nosedive after they enter parenthood. As a new mother, it is natural that your mind is constantly filled with thoughts of what the baby is doing and whether she is safe and fine. But practicality demands that you start focusing on your sex life as well. Agreed that you cannot neglect your crying toddler but getting off the bed when your man is all geared up can be the most frustrating moment for him. Chances are very lean that he might ‘hold on’ to the moment until you get back on track! Try and coordinate your love life around your baby’s nap times. Trial and error will help you perfect the timing.
4. My ex did better
Most kinds of competition are healthy for human beings. This however does not apply to bringing out the ex talk. Comparing your current relationship to any other is not only unfair but is also insulting to the man you are trying to inspire into good behaviour. Whenever you feel the urge to reminisce about your last guy, remind yourself that there is a reason that guy is your ‘ex’, so not all was perfect after all. Instead, give out gentle hints about the kind of behaviour you liked in the past. It is crucial to check yourself from criticizing his moves. Try and put your desires or needs across in a pleasant and warm way. Or better you can tempt him with naughty treats!
There is something incredibly sexy about a woman who can hold on to her mystery. In bed however, it helps to be a little transparent in your wishes. You cannot expect your partner to be a mind reader and instinctively know what works for you. If you feel shy about really talking dirty, just making encouraging sounds and calling him names when he is doing something you like will light the way for him. In fact, it is a total turn on for guys when they feel like they are driving you over the edge! Don’t be indifferent or totally reserved, it might get mistaken for lack of enthusiasm. Remember the ego needs more stroking than…well you know what. It takes two to tango and your effort will surely bring you titillating rewards! Go on and master your husky bedroom voice, it could be your new best friend.
6. You need to shave
We women are often sticklers for details. That said, most details go out of the window while you are doing the deed (for a good reason too!) Sometimes though, a certain aspect about your partner’s body might not fuel your fire. Each woman is turned on by different things. When you come across something that does not really work for you be gentle. Remember how sensitive you are about your body, how much care you take to ready yourself for that moment. Guys are no different. Telling him bluntly that something about his body does not make your heart skip a beat might send him cowering. For instance, if his body hair is posing a problem, try telling him huskily that you would love to watch him shave. For bonus points, you could offer to give him a sensual shave yourself!
7. Are you done?
Most of us forget that sex is like any other relationship, especially in the heat of the moment. Once you have decided to take things to that level with your partner, understand that while your own pleasure is important, it is not just about you. Sometimes when you yourself have had your fill, you are tired or the sex just is not that good, you might just want to up and drive away. Try and keep in mind that having walked into a tryst, you have to be considerate of the other person’s feelings. If it is really getting to you, try gently telling your partner that you are a little out of it and would he mind if you called it a night. In fact, try mixing things up, play some games or get frisky, you might just end up having a great time again!
8. Do I turn you on?
Someone very wise once said that confidence is the hottest thing a woman can wear. Since that is known to be true it only goes to reason that insecurity is one of the least attractive things you can sport. Sometimes your man might not be up for business right away. Now this is not just because of you. He could be tired or stressed or just plain nervous. Asking a man if you are not good enough for him will definitely freak him out! Instead of making him conscious, which will drive him further into his already anxious state, try to calm him down with some casual conversation. Try going back to the basics with some old school making out and more often than not, it should get the show on the road.