How much do you confess to your partner before marriage?

Coming clean is one tricky area – do you fess up all your indiscretions and ‘sins’ to your partner before tying the knot? Or do you stay quiet about certain things? Is that silence lying and deception or is it just withholding information? Some may call it selective lying. If you don’t bare all to your partner, does that amount to a relationship built on lies? Or are there certain things its best your partner doesn’t know because it may destroy your relationship? Whatever’s happened is over, dusted and done with. Would bringing it up now be stupid, inconsiderate, destructive, hurtful? Ultimately, it’s your choice. You know your partner best. But here are some points for you to consider.

Is your partner conservative or liberal?

If he is conservative, does he expect a virginal wife? Have you had a fairly active sexual past? Chances are he is likely to frown upon your sexual history. First, ask yourself if you could spend the rest of your life with a man with diametrically opposite views. If the answer is yes, and you really love him, think hard about whether you want to fess up or not. Be prepared that he might dump you once he learns about your past.

Is it an arranged or love marriage?

In an arranged marriage scenario, most men expect their wives to have an unsullied, whiter-than-white past. It’s changing but the odds are still heavily stacked on a man expecting a wife who has not had boyfriends or sex before marriage. If so, you may want to keep past discretions to yourself. If you plan to confess them, then do so before you tie the knot.