The joy of being in a truly fulfilling relationship cannot be described in words and trying to do so would be a futile attempt. Not many realize it but being in love is as important as food, air and water. Science has proven that when in love the pleasure centers of the brain light up like a Christmas tree.
Ask anyone in love and they will tell you that not only does love make the world go round; it also turns it upside down. Sadly a third of all love stories run out of steam midway. The reasons could be numerous but there can be no denying that most issues can be resolved if you follow these suggestions when you find that special person who completes you.
Communicate
Two individuals no matter how similar in thoughts and taste will inevitably have different expectations and needs. It is unrealistic to expect your partner to read your mind all the time and do what makes you happy without any help from your side. Communication is vital to a healthy relationship and helps sort out minor irritants which might get too big to be resolved later. Making your partner aware of how special they are and how much you love and care for them through actions both big and small will certainly keep the fire of love burning. Communication need not always be verbal and is not about using logic and verbal grandiose to win an argument or prove a point. Rather it should be a way to understand and fulfill each other in all aspects of a relationship. If something bothers you, do communicate it effectively with your partner for ignorance is not always bliss.
Compromise
Though this word has a certain negative connotation to it, experience teaches us that compromising is an integral part of all relationships and does not mean settling for anything sub par. It just means giving in at times to smoothen the edges of an otherwise sound relationship. For example if your partner would rather eat out on weekends while you would prefer a home cooked meal, then make something together at home and later step out for an evening of fun. But if it is just one person making all the compromises all the time then the relationship needs a serious overhaul. Being together should make you happy and not dejected and depressed. Remember love like every other relationship is about giving and taking and will rarely ever be picture perfect. Love is not going to be all pink and rosy, but will have its fair share of dark clouds and thunderstorms.
Space
Despite the fact that humans are social beings, every person needs that “ME” time. Togetherness is without doubt an integral part of commitment, but that being together should never turn claustrophobic, leaving one gasping for breath. You and your partner should be a part of each other and never try to become the complete whole. Try and have some common friends and some friends who are yours only. Try and have partner free evenings every now and then. Strangely, studies have shown that couples who are joined at the hip and do everything together have a greater risk of failing in their relationship. In today’s age, couples who pursue their mutual interests while remaining “soul mates” and not “cellmates” are more likely to have fulfilling and successful relationships. Make time to pursue your own interests and certainly your partner will admire you for being a person of many dimensions.
Keep it interesting
Relationships like blooming flowers need to be invigorated with new water and soil from time to time. Try something new which you have never done before like scuba diving, bungee jumping or snorkeling together. If you are not so adventurous then just an evening together making one of your favorite desserts or visiting a nearby wildlife sanctuary should provide the required stimulus to your relationship. Being thrown together in new situations will help you discover newer things about each other. Be together both physically and emotionally. Throw surprise parties for each other and try to celebrate each others wins with gusto. Go out and meet new and interesting people apart from your regular circle of friends to prevent boredom while socializing together. Send each other text messages to show you love and think about your partner though you maybe physically apart. Revisit the past every now and then. Go back to that restaurant where you had your first date and re read those old Valentines Day cards you had given each other. Travel together and create new memories as memories of spending time together are a bond in themselves.
Be Realistic
No man or woman is going to be able to fulfill all your desires and expectations. That typical Mills and Boons hero exists only in print, as does the superwoman who looks like a million bucks after a hard days work and can cook a gourmet meal in thirty minutes flat. Have realistic expectations from each other and try to overcome minor problem areas in a proactive and reasonable manner. Before finding inadequacies in your partner, do a thorough analysis of your own flaws and shortcomings. Films, magazines and perceived lifestyles of celebrities can influence our own expectations and mature individuals should understand that they are far removed from the truth. The grass usually seems greener on the other side, but would most likely be a mirage. Grow up and understand that Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty are just what they are – fairytales. The fantasy of perfection can be achieved if you readjust your definition of it. This is the month of love, so go on and celebrate it in its every hue.
