Having kids is a game changer – your sleep pattern is off-kilter, your body goes through hormonal changes, you are emotionally and mentally in a different place and among thousand other reasons, your baby becomes the apple of your eye. While all this is entirely true, the fact that your sex life is done and dusted after kids is false. In fact, having babies can strengthen the bond between couples and in the presence of that unconditional love, sex can be seriously good. With these tips, the post-baby phase can actually be quite an opportunity for unabashed sex and romance.
Get yourself some ‘me’ time
What does having some personal time off have to do with sex? Everything! It is a known fact that feeling good about yourself is a straight ticket to a good sex life. Between diaper changes and breastfeeding, make time to do things that make you happy. A couple of hours at a spa or kicking back on your couch with a book will not come in between you and your child!
Sweat it out
This might be a reoccurring mantra, but it still does not lose its importance – exercise! When the time is right, pick up the dumbbells or go on a brisk walk. If you dedicated 45 minutes in a day for some physical activity while you were pregnant, save at least half an hour for some form of workout after becoming a new mommy; it is difficult but doable. Exercise can resurrect your lost levels of libido and give you back your desire for sex. If you find the treadmill monotonous try something new – remember, those lower body exercises help strengthen your pelvis, which means not only great sex but sculpted abs.
Schedule time for sex
Yes, we are all for spontaneity when it comes to sex but it is time we face some facts. After pregnancy, your life becomes a whirlwind of baby food and nappy changes apart from domestic chores and sex might just be the last thing on your mind. So when you are penning down your to-dos for the week, don’t be ashamed to include sex in it, make it a priority. Who knows? You might end up having sex so regularly that you don’t have to schedule it anymore!
Make room for daddy
It is natural for a new mother to pay undivided attention to her baby, but that does not have to happen at the cost of ignoring the husband. Make him a part of your baby care regimen and tell him what an amazing father he is. Remember, there is nothing sexier than fatherhood; the things a father does to protect his child can be such a big turn on.
Intimacy is subjective and does not always have to end up in sex. After pregnancy, you might not be physically ready to have intercourse but that should not get in the way of indulging in other things. The fact that your body is not ready for sex opens up a whole new playing field for foreplay – discover his soft spots, allow him to find yours. There are more ways to express yourself physically and if it means that a long kiss will bring back the romance that has been fading, indulge in it wholeheartedly.
Get chatty with the doc
After countless visits to the ob-gyn and invasive examinations, women tend to put off doctor visits after pregnancy. Lack of sex drive for a couple of months after pregnancy is something that can be reasoned with but anything beyond that is something you will have to address. Schedule an appointment with your physician and have an open conversation with her about the physical discomfort you are facing or why you are not mentally ready to have sex yet. If not medicines, there are other ways a doctor can help you find your way back to good sex.
Sleep, sleep and sleep again
After singing ‘Rock a bye baby’ to your baby, make sure to get some shut eye as well, whenever you can. Sleep deprivation can be a gigantic obstacle to sex and if you are not making the effort to sleep, instead of cozying up with your husband you will end up giving into a snapping frenzy.
10-day sex challenge
Forget the ‘100 days of Happiness’ challenge; create a practical sex challenge for yourself. Day one can be getting rid of food-stained mommy clothes and slipping into something sexy; day two can be having a romantic meal together. Take small steps and day 10 might possibly be the best sex you have ever had!
Find a new making-out spot
After pregnancy, it is likely that your bedroom is filled with baby things. A room filled with crib, toys and breast-pump can be a psychological barrier to sex. Make use of this chance to get hot with your husband elsewhere in your home, perhaps the living room or your kitchen if you are more adventurous or hop into the shower with him for some steamy sex.
Make hay while the sun shines
It is all in your head at the end of the day. Parenthood is such a beautiful thing, something to be cherished and you don’t really stop becoming a parent ever. Instead of letting it get in the way of your sex life, make the best out of it – you don’t need pills or oysters, the shared experience of having a baby, of raising it together, can be a natural aphrodisiac that money can’t buy.